WHY – The million dollar question the 2nd year in a row. If you’ve been a part of Superior I know you will understand. IF not it may never make sense and that OK. It’s not for everyone and yes we may be a tad crazy. I love a challenge. I want to know what this body but more importantly brain is capable of. I wanted a tough 100 miler. This trail & community I’ve grown to love so much. It made complete sense to me. Being on trails is where all lifes problems slowly fade away. After DNFing (did not finish) last year due to hyponatremia (to much water not enough sodium) it lit the fire under me that much brighter to want to come back and tackle this beast again.
Jan. 15th after lingering pain I was diagnosed with a femoral neck stress fracture. I could no longer run much less walk without the assistance of crutches. I was broken. Physically but more mentally as running is my relief from so many things. I decided to put all my energy that I would be spending training into recovery and focus on non- athletic goals.
101 days later I was able to run my 1st mile since the fracture!!! 1 mile had never felt so amazing and I vowed to never take a mile for granted again. This was HUGE progress. In a short amount of time I worked my way up to a 7 miler. I was so pumped to be back at it only to roll my ankle on the trail (by the tiniest root ever grrrrrr) setting me back 3 more weeks. Was Superior 100 in Sept. even a remote possibility??? Ask most ultra runners and you will have your answer 🙂
A bit of information about the race from the website
103.3 Mile point-to-point 100% trail ultramarathon – 95% single-track, Founded in 1991, Elevation Gain 21,000 FT, Elevation Loss 21,000 FT, NET Elevation Change 42,000 FT, 13 Aid Stations, 38 hour cutoff, Field is limited to 285 runners, registration via lottery, Reputation as one of the toughest, most scenic and best marked trail 100’s in the country.
Let’s FAST forward….
September 6, 2019 – The air was cool and crisp and the gorgeous sunrise over Lake Superior put my mind at ease. Oddly enough I wasn’t super nervous rather anxious to start. I learned soooo many lessons from 2018 and my hip injury that I was looking forward to putting them to the test. I can honestly say I’m thankful for the DNF & even a little for the injury. Sometimes in life things you love must be stripped from under you to fully understand how much you love them. The ride to Gooseberry with Dan, Daniel and Klug was a mix of silence, small chat and music. Daniel needed to make a pit stop at Holiday Gas Station & grabbed me a much needed coffee. Within 10 minutes boom mission accomplished the ol system was ready to go to work if you know what I mean… Now let’s get to Gooseberry so I can hit up the potty:)
It was a beautiful morning to be surrounded by amazing people. Some of these people I only see 2x a year but they really are my tribe and I love them all! All walks of life all accepting of one another. I was able to wish Long and Michelle off (they would be getting married during the race, how dang cool is that) and give a few hugs before John gave his announcement.
8:00 am we were off. I had the honor of sharing the 1st few miles with Brian Lindstrom and Irina. I hadn’t met Irina before but she went out of her way introducing herself to me at packet pick up. It was fun getting to know her better. She’s a beautiful soul with a great spirit. She wanted to quit last year at mile 72 (with 31 miles to go) exactly where I dropped but ultimately her husband told her she only had 5.1 miles to go …. to the next aid station that is…that became her game plan. Just get to the next aid station (easier said than done on this course) and she finished! Go Irina!! I ran with them until they had to make a pit stop for a potty break.
This section I also had the honor to run with Susan Donnelly. She’s absolutely incredible female and an ultra running icon. To share her company, wisdom and knowledge along with Erica Wagner was a blessing. Erica and I both share some shitty life experiences so it was so nice seeing her shine on the trail.
One thing Susan said stuck with me the entire race. She mentioned it was hard to see athletes who are physically fit and who she knows is capable of completing races not finish due to the lack of mental strength. This my friends stuck! I can’t let my brain be the reason I quit. In life I’ve been though so many mental challenges so the mental struggle should come easier for me than most.
Needless to say the 1st few miles flew by. A lot of chatter on the trail the early miles. Runners filled with energy and smiles…until mile 7. It was a bee frenzy!! I was in a train of runners and the guy in front may have stepped on a nest. There were bees EVERYWHERE! The 2 people in front of me both got stung twice.
I went untouched but we stopped to make sure everyone was ok and nobody was allergic in the group and carried on. Only for about 1/2 mile further to see a runner down. He wasn’t so fortunate. He was allergic and had been stung and I believe was in anaphylaxis shock. There were at least 4 runners with him and they told us to carry on as help was on the way. We keep moving but I couldn’t help but think those next few miles of how freaking precious life is. This is where I started to get into my groove and reflect on how lucky I was to be on this crazy difficult trail attempting this race again. At one point everything just seemed to go silent around me as I reflected and prayed he would be ok. Good news is later in the race I found out everything turned out ok for him . PTL
The next excitement for me was coming around a small bend on the trail I saw Tone and his doggie! I was like a kid in a candy shop beaming with joy. Sooooo excited to get some puppy love cuz Heidi loves most pups more than humans. Sad but true. I asked permission then stopped to get some kisses. She loved my salty skin and I loved her calm, sweet demeanor. Tone captured this awesome photos and off I went into Beaver Bay aid station.
Into Beaver Bay I felt like the queen of the trail!. Mark Smith was there hands wide open. Ready to fill my bottles & get what I needed from my drop bag. Did someone send him there to help me knowing I didn’t expect any help until later in the race? NO sir that’s just want these amazing volunteers do. They make sure each runner has what they need, they want to help, they WANT you to succeed they have the hugest hearts and I’m forever grateful for them all!
I got in and out as quick as possible. I was still feeling good and embracing the climbs, the views, chatting with fellow runners and looking forward to the next aid station. Into silver bay (mile 25) I was greeted by Jen and Christie. They 2 are wonderful ladies who happen to be sisters. They are so positive and so supportive. They filled me up, packed me out, gave me hugs and a homemade salted nut roll (ummmm delicious) for the next section of trail. Food still tasted good at this point.
One thing about Heidis brain is she easily forgets things. Sometimes in life this is a huge asset other times like when someone asks about a certain section of trail or what a course was like I have a blank stare because I can’t fricking remember! Like the movie 50 1st dates. I could run the same race 50 times and it would probably feel new each time. I guess in this case its a good thing as it means again it must have been uneventful and my legs were working with me. I was staying on top of my nutrition and trying hard to ensure I had the proper water/salt balance as I didn’t need a repeat of last year ultimately costing me my race.
I knew that Will and the boys were hoping to see me at Tettegouche should they get to town in time so was anxiously waiting to get there. I love the section of trail that follows. About 1/2 a mile from the aid station I had the greatest surprise! First I saw Kari and her little darling smooshy face pup. She’s been such an inspiration to me and always has such encouraging words. It gave me a boost seeing her and then low and behold there was my BEASTie Sabrina!!! This women was side by side with me last year. This year I opted for no pacers except Brysen for the last section and not having to rely on a crew as I can dig pretty darn deep solo and most of my training is alone as well. I found last year knowing I had a pacer waiting created unwanted stress in my brain. Sabrina waited over 5 hours last year at an aid station and I felt horrible. Yes they sign up for it but it’s how my brain works and I didn’t want anyone to have to do that again. She wasn’t sure she was going to make it to Superior this year but signed up to volunteer and made a point to try and see me on the course. I’m a lucky lady to have a friend like her! From there I rolled into the aid station to see my boys!!!! They made it!!! They had literally just got there. It was jam packed with crew members waiting for their “crazy runners”. I was on cloud 9. They got me what I needed and off I went very quick (mile 34.9) as all the people at that aid station were actually making me feel a bit anxious. I left this aid station feeling on top of the world so many awesome faces to see in such a short time.
RAIN RAIN GO AWAY HUNDREDS OF RUNNERS WANT TO PLAY. This next section was interesting. It was a beautiful sunny day and out of nowhere came a complete downpour at about mile 40. Whats one to do? I saw many runners taking cover under trees but as hard as it was raining they were still getting wet. I was so paranoid of not finishing in time I told myself GAME ON. This is when I dig and work hard. I stopped for a brief second to pull out the .69 cent rain poncho I threw in my pack last minute and starting rocking it as hard and as fast as I could. I won’t say it was the most comfortable thing to be sloshing around in the rain but it helped keep me semi dry and more importantly warm. It was actually a nice distraction from the minor aches and pains I was now starting to feel. During the rain dump Susan came up from behind me again. We embraced the now sloppy, muddy, puddle filled slippery section of trail, stopped to take in the view when the rain began to let up and off she went….
“Do you know why the Indian rain Dances always worked? Because the Indians would keep dancing until it rained”-Sherman Alexie
I continued to move forward at my own pace now feeling a tad more uncomfortable and couldn’t help but wonder if the front runners got blessed with this slop too :). County Road 6 was the next aid station where I had planned on changing a few items before going the night. If it was going to rain the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. A few miles later the sun began to set.
It was beautiful. I watched it briefly but I couldn’t wait to get to the next aid station and get off some of the wet gear.
Mile 43.5 Country Road 6- I had a drop bag here but the boys were Johhny on the spot and had it all ready for me. I was so happy to see them.
I spent more time here then I hoped too but it’s a vital stop going into the night so wanted to be sure I had everything. I opted to not switch shoes, socks or shorts as the trail was still wet so I thought it was pointless and would just take more time. They built me a “wall” with a hammock they had with and I switched out my top layers (sports bra, tank), grabbed a long sleeve shirt, light coat, headlamp and trekking poles. As we were getting everything set along came Christie!! How awesome for her to come here as well. I filled my belly with more calories, gave hugs, and off into the dark I went. I use to be afraid of being alone on the SHT trail at night but I can honestly say its a peaceful, mysterious feeling not knowing what’s to come. Again Heidis crappy memory tends to forget sections from prior years so everything seemed new again 🙂 The stars were shining bright the air was cool yet not cold and the sounds of frogs as I crossed the boardwalk filled the air. I shut my headlamp off a few times to admire the stars.
If you recall I mentioned I didn’t want pacers or crew but Christie has wanted to pace for awhile and I thought it would be a nice little welcome to have her join me at the 1/2 way point for a 10 mile section. Again I like to battle solo but I honestly was looking forward to having her join me even if it was just for a small section. As I rolled into Finland (mile 51.2) I was a little bummed as I didn’t see Will and the boys but Christie was there ready to roll! Last year the kids were suppose to be there but life (or major shit) happened and last minute plans changed. This year Will planned on bringing them up and was going to try to do what he could to be at whatever aid stations he could. With 2 young kids driving 6 1/2 hours then up all day/night and into the next day is NOT an easy task! So although I was bummed at some point they need to rest and I wasn’t relying on crew so had everything I needed. I had all my night gear so took advantage of this aid station by consuming warm real food. Thank you Finland aid station for the amazing vegetarian pizza and coffee! This is the point where not much sounds appealing but that hit the spot. Out of Finland we went and low and behold there was my truck. The kids were shot, Brody was sleeping and Will was just coming out of the restroom. I stopped to give the kids quick hugs and into the night we went.
Christie kept my mind occupied. I honestly can’t recall much of our conversation but she did a stellar job keeping me moving forward at a great pace and would listen to my breathing to know whether to increase or decrease the speed. Her positive energy was a ray of light even in the darkness of the night. We rolled into Sonju where I sat very briefly while she used the restroom and I ate some warm food. This aid station was the death of me last year. I was feeling so much better this year and wanted to get in and out quick as a warm fire, with great people in the middle of the night over halfway into a race is so damn appealing. I steered clear of the fire and after giving thanks to the volunteers off we went. Before you know it we were rolling into Crosby (mile 62.9) here she was going to hitch a ride and go get some sleep. I knew the next section is tough as nails and I was now trekking solo so we said our goodbyes I again made sure to take in more calories and off into the night I went again.
Going into the race I was experiencing some knee pain. This is nothing new and wasn’t going to stop me from starting the race but I had an idea it may be an issue at some point. About mile 64 it rared its ugly head full force. I had been feeling it for sometime but tried to ignore it. The downs were absolutely killing me. This is where I started going to a dark place. I didn’t want to quit but the pain was so intense I thought my race was over. I moved myself to the side of the trail and leaned on my trekking poles to take a little break. This is the same section my calf starting acting up last year as well. Low and behold into the night came a trail angel. She asked if I was ok…yes I was but my knee wasn’t and it was now affecting my mental state. She offered me a Tylenol. At this point it was getting worse and wasn’t going to improve so graciously accepted. What a blessing! Off she went into the night. I once again continued to move forward and low and behold a few miles later it started to subside. The knee pain improved while my sleep deprivation drastically increased. Have I ever been this flipping tired in my life? I wasn’t sure. The thing about this course is you can be dog ass tired but you need to be alert as the trail, the rocks, the roots they are RELENTLESS! Relentless massive rocks to climb then descend over and over.
I was so tired I decided a 10 minute power nap was a necessity so I found a tree stump turned off my headlamp and sat for about 2 minutes only for paranoia to set in. If your not a front of the pack runner there’s so many additional things to worry about. Cut off times being one of them. I needed every minute I had so turned my headlamp back on and JUST KEPT MOVING. This is also where I saw the cutest little mouse I have ever seen in my entire life. Mind you I HATE mice they creep me out! Still not sure if I actually saw it or it was a delusion but it was like a little cartoon character looking right at me as my headlamp blasted his face. I let out an eeeeep and off he or she went. This 10 mile section seemed never ending. I was in pain but it wasn’t anything life threatening so tried to just keep moving. I was ahead of cut off times and despite being dog tired was doing pretty good. I thought about my Mom and “Harapats don’t quit” I thought about all the people rooting for me from afar, I thought about my kids, and I couldn’t help but think I was about to get to the aid station I had to drop at last year. Bittersweet as I reflected and continued to grind with everything I had and low and behold the sun began to rise! FUCK yeah (excuse my French) I made it through the night by myself and was about to hit Sugarloaf (mile 72.3)
First person to greet me at Sugarloaf was Neal Collick. Neal and I became friends a few years back. He’s currently the course record holder and was pacing a runner who had to drop this year so he was there now crewing another runner. It was such a pleasant surprise. He gave me a hug, words of encouragement and before I knew it there was my little zoo crew 🙂 I sat in a chair Will offered everything under the sun to get me to take calories. I put on a hat, refueled and took a tiny break. I couldn’t help but laugh as my boys asked “mom are you tired” and “can we see your feet” At this point I hadn’t changed shoes or socks and lord knows what was brewing down there. They would have to wait for that surprise. There was something so special about seeing them when I did. It motivated me to keep moving, to fight with everything I had, to believe I could and to get to the next aid station. Again, even though Will and my lives are different these days this was so special and he has always been one of my biggest supporters so thank you Will!
After hugs, pancakes and little hash browns I was off…now this may sound absolutely crazy but the next 20ish mile are pretty much a blur! I thought giving my brain time to process it all it would start to click but nope I remember very very little. The only thing I remember is leaving Sugarloaf Neal told me his friend Ed Thomas was ahead of me and wanted to quit. He told me to go catch him and to not allow him to do what his brain wanted. I now had a new mini goal…go catch Ed…and that I did. I found Ed and yes quit was in his vocab. He was hurting but still moving. I told him to keep moving, I promised it would get better, he couldn’t quit, that wasn’t an option (teehee) and that I would see him at the finish line. He smiled and again kept moving.
Fast forward to Temperance aid station (mile 85) Will took this shot. I guess it’s proof I was there. WOW not much recollection.
Now is where a new pain started.. I was dealing with some chaffing issues in the ol buttocks! OUCH sorry non runners we have “issues’ that present their ugly faces during these long races that are not so pleasant. I had everything with me I needed (vaniply, vasoline, squirrels nut butter) so fun to say but nothing was lasting long term so for miles and miles I got to feel major burn. OUCH!!!
I also remember climbing Carlton peak I was starting to feel a hot spot under my right foot. I can’t believe I hadn’t felt anything until this point. How awesome is that! So was relieved yet paranoid as the race was far from over. I could feel myself changing my stride to attempt to avoid putting pressure on that spot. This is never a good thing. Seeing Carleton peak is almost comical when your 90 miles into the race. I mean who doesn’t want to climb that shit?
Bring it! Up and up and up I went then down down down into Sawbill.
Mile 90.7 (Sawbill) It was here I decided I was in need of addressing the hot spot. I was honestly terrified to see my feet. With the help of Christie and Will off went the ol stinky socks and low and behold my feet looked amazing (a little sarcasm there) but seriously no blisters just lil wrinkly. Off with the old and on with the new fresh ahhhhhhh injinji socks. They felt soooooooooo good! I opted to keep on my same shoes (Altra King MT2) as they simply felt great and the lugs were what I needed. Here the kids gave me potato chips, Gatorade, and tried to get me to take more calories then I wanted. NOTHING in the world as far as food goes sounded good at this point. I just wanted to be done! Soooo sleepy…only a half marathon to go 🙂 or about 5 miles to the next aid station where Brysen had been waiting since spring superior to pace me in should I hit this aid station.
What more motivation does a Mom need? This section things HURT. My brain was playing awful games with me. Still no thought of quitting but my mind was telling me I wasn’t going to hit the cut off time, that I wasn’t going to finish, that no matter how quick I went it wasn’t going to be fast enough. I broke down and cried. All by myself with nobody around in the middle of the trail. I felt so tired, so broken how can I get this close and not finish? The power of the brain. I desperately needed to shut that shit down so started telling myself Harapats don’t quit, just keep moving, when the going gets tough the tough get going so that’s what I did I got my ass in gear and tried to get my mind out of the gutter and run. I ran as fast as my legs would allow me. I tried to do math to figure out cut off times only to fuddle with my math. Its never been a strong point for me and after 93 miles and no sleep it was simply pointless so I ran and cried, I cried and I ran. A few miles in I was able to compose myself and get back on track with positive mindset and looking at a bracelet Sabrina made that said “Keep Going”. Yes I can! If I give it my all and it’s not enough I can leave this course with no regrets. That kept me moving along with knowing Brysen was waiting for me all geared up.
Mile 96.2 the magical aid station. I was already pretty emotional from that last section but the 1st person I saw was Doug Barton. He was their arms wide open. I melted, I cried (this time happy tears), I was overcome with emotion. Next came Sonya and Kurt Decker, their beautiful daughter, Amy and my little crew. You guys I couldn’t stop crying!!! This was the aid station I sat at last year after dropping. Watching/cheering on other runners seeing them accomplish their goals. This is the aid station Kurt (Godfather of the Trail) spoke to me. Basically told me that race didn’t define me, that I could take the lessons learned and come back and redeem. Here I was 1 year later back for redemption surrounded by people who were sooo supportive and caring and there was little Brysen all geared up ready to rock the next 7.1 miles with his Mom on the Superior Hiking Trail!!! Helping her accomplish something years ago that never in a million years thought she was capable of. WOW just typing this brings me back to that moment and fills my eyes with tears. Many hugs were given and off my little man and I went.
I couldn’t help but forget about any aches and pains I had the first mile or so. I felt honored to have him with me. He’s no stranger to the trail so I was in good hands. I think my pace was a pinch slower than his liking (or MUCH) but he gets it and when he got to far ahead he would take a fruit snack out of his pack and have a little snack while waiting for pokey mom. Things were going pretty smooth. Up Moose Mountain we went …or he went looking back for me.
These legs were moving as quick as they could and I can honestly say this section felt pretty good given the circumstances. The next…Mystery Mountain is where the body said enough is enough! I started experiencing pain each time I lifted my left foot on the top of my foot. My right knee was holding out ok at this point but ultimately what turned me into turtle pace was a pain in the back of my left leg behind my knee. I’ve never experienced pain here. It hurt to bend it or fully extend it. It got progressively worse through this section. I was basically hopping on one leg for a bit until I decided even if I had to roll into the finish I had to deal with it and keep moving. I was moving so much slower now than I wanted and I think Brysen was getting a little annoyed but he didn’t show it rather would look back and wait. So frustrating as but at this point we had about 3.5 miles to go. Those 3.5 seemed like the longest freaking miles of my life! It hurt sooooo bad but I tried to stay positive and move as quick as possible. Going into the race my goal was to finish but I also hoped I could avoid using the headlamp the 2nd night and that I would finish before the sunset. Unfortunately, even though the sky was still a tad blue the trail grew dark. I apologized to B telling him we needed to stop and put on our headlamps. He also wanted to be out before dark so I feel like I let him down but at this point I looked at it as simply a new experience of night trail running something he’s never witnessed.
I kept telling him to listen as we should hear the river soon. River oh river where the F are you? Seriously it seemed as those it had been washed away into the night. We kept moving forward and the next thing you know that loud, beautiful, raging river belted out to us!!!!! Praise the lord the end is near.
We made a tiny pit stop near the river for a quick pic and off we went to the road.
Pretty sure the road was extended since Spring Superior as this too felt never ending but I knew WE Mother and Son were about to cross that finish line together. Around the bend into the finish I hear Heidi Hasapopoulos from Alexandria, MN completing her 1st hundred miler. BOOOOOOOOOM 36 long ass hours and 3 minutes from when I toed to the line this Momma crossed that finish line. Welcomed by Brody, Will and a bunch of my dear trail running friends. There were no tears shed here which is shocking but pretty sure I left them all on the trail by Oberg aid station.
“She believed she could and so she did”
People let me tell you. ALWAYS believe in yourself. Whether it’s personal, career, or fitness goals, DREAM BIG and shut down the negative voices that your own head carries as well as those around you. Going in a few comments spoken to me “your’e to little your going to break” “aren’t you worried about your health” “wasn’t the 1st time enough” “why” “it doesn’t make sense”. Your dreams, your goals, your drive in life ….NEVER let me repeat NEVER has to make sense to anyone but YOU!
Work hard, help others along the way, stay positive and as my 2018 RACE REPORT states:
If at first you don’t succeed dust yourself off and try again as dreams don’t have an expiration date.
Here’s a few additional Superior race views. Absolutely stunning
From 12.5K to 100 miler I’ve officially checked all the Superior distances off the list.
Thank you John, Cheri, volunteers, family, friends and fellow trail runners. Superior would not be the same without you all. There’s a reason we deal with the post race blues, there’s a reason I look forward to May and Sept every year, there’s a reason Superior and the trails is where I feel at peace and it’s because of you all. This was my 8th Superior race and each year it just gets better. From the bottom of heart thank you!
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MN Momma 